positive test.
Tears, fears, tears, thoughts, tears and even more thoughts. Samuli
arrived unexpectedly, leaving things to chance, but not planning on being so lucky.
For me no problem, you just have to organize themselves .... in again.
For him no problem, you just start all over .... in again.
But that's okay, a child is always a blessing, and we infuse the kids love them ... we have always said that we wanted the three ... although maybe not as infretta.
Mile had only 30 months .... Enri 9
I'm not afraid for me, I'm not afraid for us. I'm afraid of the other .... and I have reason to. All criticism, all talk, all have their say, and I despise all speak as if I were, in order ... unconscious, and beep, beep .... and all the words that I did not forget but I can not repeat. However ....
pregnancy progresses, we are happy together, alone I feel bad for all the comments. The influence of intestinal
28/12...prima husband .... I resist.
Mile 2 days after starting ... and I resist.
Then comes the turn of Enrique ... and I resist, even if it is not yet healed
Mile Mile is aware of everything. He noticed her belly, she knows that I'm preparing vialigia and know I'll be away for a few days. ... And vomits every night, more or less the same time. I say it's influence even if we think little, because the day is fine, the night is a tragedy.
And of course we are also well .... I also fall in January, missing very little to the birth of the child.
Infleunza gut for me .... 3 days in a row past the bathroom to give the stomach.
Then finally on Sunday I'm fine .... I'm better, I eat a little bit at lunch, eat a little bit for dinner.
And the night begins to feel sick, stomach ache, stomach ache .... and what do I blame? influence, not to Samuli trying to get my attention ...
at 6.00 am of 18.1.2010 in the kitchen drinking my umpteenth cup of water and lemon. He gets my husband to go to work. "I'm home ... I'll help with the kids ... go to your mother ..." Then ...." I love ... but you sure is not Sam ... instill the date is 21 ... 18 ... today is your name that are to be with the kids you prepared we go to the hospital. "
I get up and "oh my God .... why did not I think of that before now I can not even walk anymore ... of my moving here because otherwise I do"
At 7 we are in the hospital, same old story. There comes a nurse who does not take me seriously, and he returns to the closet to talk with the midwife. I attack the door, because even though I have severe pain ... I need to push and hold on to something.
The midwife sees me and runs to help me ... visit me and tells me to run in the delivery room. 2 drives, maybe 3, are born Samuel 07:26. Born too cold, drink a bit of amniotic fluid, but nothing serious. Can I hold you in my arms .... I was born and I have not noticed. Meanwhile, outside the sky is red. The night gives way to a day that is born ...
I'm torn, I do not have the strength to walk, I do not have the strength to get dressed .... repeated these influences have destroyed me, but I can finally rest. Yes
pure .. illusion. I do not take the nest the little say that she cries because he wants to eat. but as I pull up from the cradle vomit the liquid ingested.
It 's all coming and going from the nest. I who brought the child, and that they bring him back to me. I'm tired at the end I decided to keep him with me. I put in my bed and sleep together all night. Meanwhile
Mile, at home, continues to throw up.
resign ... I take it seriously for mile, after 1 month of illness is pale with dark circles, and has lost some weight.
Then consult with a doctor, the one next door. Maybe it's just reflux due to agitation, the situation. Anti-acid for a few days and Mile heals. But
Start Sam reflux .... for him .... you never stop. Perhaps I exaggerate with the desire to be with my kids alone in struggling to recover ... so I give up. Alone can not do it. Mile back to kindergarten, Enri be grandparents, and I take care of the child.
E 'was really hard. Even though I had experience with the brothers, the early days of Sam's mother were difficult. I did not want to admit being in trouble, I did not want the people who had always criticized could say "we were right" and I struggled. With fingernails, teeth.
It seemed to me that those days will no longer pass. Everything was eternal ... the little he was sick, I was not feeling well, the jealousy of brothers ....
Natuarlmente the time is spent alone with his pace and finally at home ... B. the sun shines. It 's been a year and I've never been so happy, I'm happy, happy ... I have the family I always wanted. I have so much guilt for what I thought while waiting for the little ... but I'm showing all the love that I can, so that it can never be a mistake.
Because he is not an error.
With him I learned to be a mother. I learned new things ... because for every child, to start all over again you always learn something. And I've learned .... I learned so many things.
I learned to stay at home alone with three small children
I learned to do the shopping carried by most children.
I have learned to traverse the whole country, on foot, to bring them to the park
I learned to respect me, I learned to respect the adyust ..
I learned to love him, and I taught them to volersene
I learned to give a damn about the people, their eyes when they saw me with Sam in the carrier and the other 2 hands.
I learned to laugh, or at least smile when their lip-reading "Did you see that?"
And I learned to be proud of the family that I created, with the man I love.
I'm happy, when I go out alone, or even when we are all together 5, to attract the eyes of the people. That look all that ... look what I am / we have been able to do ... because if only people knew how to live in symbiosis my 3 children, if only they saw how they love, as you seek, how they want to constantly be together, and how they think each other even when separated ... then that would have to talk ...
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